26. A celebrity you share a birthday with

April 24th…

Tyson Ritter & Kelly Clarkson

01. First Celebrity Obsession

Okay, so they aren’t people….But yes, I would have to say that Chip n’ Dale were my first celebrity obsession. I had to watch all their shorts and thought they were the epitome of cool. One day, one day I’ll meet them. I mean when I got back to Disneyland, I better get to meet them with my tattoo…just saying…

Day 04 – A song that makes you sad

Four Year Strong “One Step at a Time” the acoustic version

Every time I listen to it I think of the people I’ve yet to lose and that makes me go from smiles to a super sad face in an instant.

           Day Twenty-Four: Top Five Things You Do During “Me-Time”

1.  Write “songs”…I pretty much think I’m the shit, but everyone else just thinks I smell the part.

2. Sing…well not really, I like to sing along to The Used and Story of the Year, shit like that. Most girls want that pretty voice, i was always into screamy singing. So this has been an ongoing pastime since I was about 16.

3. Cry…boo hoo. About once a month I’ll come home to an empty apartment and let it go.

4. Make lists…as you can tell, I really fucking love lists. I think this goes back to the OCD I had as a kid.

5. …We’ll just call it, “watching Justin Bieber videos” ….

         Day Twenty-Three: Top Five Worst Teachers You’ve Ever Had

This one was hard. I could come up with at least 10 teachers that I loved for one reason or another, but ones I loathed…Hmm, this was a task. Then I got sad at the fact that at 24, I found it hard to remember all the teachers I’d had over the years. The ones from when I was younger stuck out like a fat girl in Forever 21. It was the college years that were a blur. Haha, that’s me, Ms. Party Girl. No I just didn’t care about school as much when I got there…so the teachers, although a couple left me smitten, I didn’t really give 2 shits about…With that, the list begins…

1.  Ms. Brubaker: She was a rumored lesbian; not the problem at all. She was obese; again, who cares? She was the most intimidating human being I’ve ever come across…FUCK MY LIFE.  I had this bitch three years in a row and in my last year of middle school I was the first person on the roll sheet, the one that got her worst in 3^rd period. I still get an aching feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about running the mile in her class.

2. Mrs. Wells: It was a shame we never got along. Her husband was amazing, but when you have 99% of an honors class failing a subject, I swear you’re the problem. My mom’s still mad that I pissed this lady off at our parent/teacher meeting. That woman had it coming…

3. Umm…I don’t remember her name: My Poli-Sci teacher in college was sassy, and I liked that. What I hated? She was a smug chick who I swear had Jesse Jackson’s love child (I Googled it).

4. Again, no name: We had this sub in fifth grade that made many of the kids in our class cry. He was just an ass that my mind cannot forget.

5….Well, I’ll go with the fact that maybe all the rest were either too forgettable, or amazing at what they set out to do. So let me take this as a chance to name my top 3 favorites:

1. Mr. Montague: I had him for a regular history class and he cared so fucking much about the badass kids in that class even though they made his life hell. My senior yearbook was dedicated to him, in which I wrote the words that went on his page. I’ll forever have a great respect for that man.
2. Mrs. Marquis: It was a love/hate with this woman…But it was her English class in 10th grade that made me realize that hey, maybe I had some sort of “talent” putting pen to paper…
3. Ms. Picarelli: The only teacher from college that knew my name and made me get into Women’s Studies. She also reminded me of Kate Walsh on Private Practice; strong, independent, professional woman…which I love and admire…

hormonal overload in 5, 4, 3, 2…

Day Twenty-Two: Top Five Sexiest People Ever (Dead Or Alive)

in no particular order…

1. James Dean: Classic
2. Nick Carter: Nostalgic Hormones
3. Gale Harold: So cocky it’s sexy
4. Olivia Wilde: my baby momma
5. Quinn Allman: My idea of the perfect boy…

*air quotes*

Day Twenty-One: Top Five Movies You Quote Constantly

1. Mean Girls: that last true teen movie. line after line, this is one of the most quotable movies i’ve ever seen and i hope kids of tomorrow quote this one forever…

• You can’t sit with us!
• It’s like I have ESPN
• Oh my god! It’s like you’re in love with me!

2. Emperor’s New Groove: this is one only me and my brother understand. this is tied with goofy movie, it was a tough call.

• Aye, Pacha!
• Oh, oh…I’m not sure…
• Bring it on

3. 90’s Sports (Kids) Movies: once again…i think this is something between brother and sister…

• MMMhMMm
• Rodeo Drive!
• You play ball like a girl!
• So the guys at the morgue can identify the bodies

4. Superbad: i think these are ones that i’ll say to myself and just LOL all alone…yes, i’m a strange person…

• Fo’sho
• What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer
• Gigantic bottle of lube!

5. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: around the holidays, i can’t help but quote one of my top 5 movies ever…

• i want to be a dentist
• i’m a charlie in the box!
• it’s a bumble!

if i had the power, i’d break my tv every time they were on…but my heart’s in that box…

Day Twenty: Top Five Most Annoying Celebrities

1. Kristin Stewart…listen bitch, if you are awkward and shit, that’s cool, so am I, but you’re an actor right? Learn to act like you give a shit about your life. I’ll trade you and you can pay my bills with my job and I can make out wit….Okay, maybe I see why you look mad all the time…

2. Jersey Shore Cast…It may be a generation thing, but I don’t get the appeal nor do I ever want to…

3. Spencer & Heidi…I am glad they’ve gone away (for now)…I won’t speak of them anymore out of fear they spring back up again…

4. Norm MacDonald…He was funny back in the day, but I can’t stand him in 2011…

5. Wendy Williams…how you doin? Not good as long as that thing is on the air. I don’t know why, but she bugs the shit out of me…

                                    Let’s get Chocolate Wasted!

                         Day Fifteen: Top Five Favorite Beverages

1. Kool Aid

2. Raspberry Lemonade

3. Chocolate Milk

4. Lemonade

5. Apple Juice

         Day Fourteen: Top Five Things You’d Do If You Had Magical Abilities

Oh…did you mean things I’d do? Well shit, if you’re giving me the power, my hormones are taking advantage….

1. Nick Carter. The love of my life since I was 10. If there is a god, one day I will get this wish…

2. How many times can Gale Harold pop up in this 30 day challenge? Every chance he gets….

3. Dave from Fireworks is my husky girlfriend and I want her/him to rape my face, that is all… 

4. I think everyone should get a chance to have a piece of Adam …and yes, even though he has stretchmarks, I still want it, bad…

5. Are you telling me you can’t bang an autistic kid? Yes, yes you can…Someone insert Mikey Way in my pants please…

                             Day Thirteen: Top Five Dream Jobs

1. A&R at a label…at the job I do now all I can really do is listen to an album and pick “the one” song that’s right. I sit at shows and examine the potential of the band in front of me. I can’t tell you the stats of social skills, but I can tell you who’s got “it” and who doesn’t. Plus, I suck at talking to people who are supposed to be my peers, but when it comes to artists, I’m the shit. I don’t sugarcoat what I say to them and treat them like they’re this amazing person, I just treat them like a human being because at the end of the day, what’s the point of kissing ass? I don’t want my breath to smell like shit…

2. 1iota…okay, why? Because I love it. I’ve been going to Kimmel for 5 years now and I love where it is, the people that go and most of all you’re dealing with fans all day. If you don’t know my love for fans, then you don’t know me. It makes some people happy to meet their favorite celebs, and yes, that’s really cool…but I can’t help but love the feeling when I see someone else meet someone they admire and love and that’s why I want to spend four days a week sitting people in a studio and helping them out in the alley…

3. Writer…I already do this, but it lacks the efficiency to pay the rent. If I lived with my mom I could pursue this, but I don’t. I can’t. I’d be dead from a razor to the wrist if I lived in the middle of the desert again. So I sit and type what I can on blogs and sites to get my fix because until I can write full time and have a the peace of mind that I won’t be homeless, I will not be a full time writer….

4. Songwriter…I swear that all genres have an equation to follow and I think I can do it, now only if I was a dude with skinny jeans and a girl crushing smile, those words might make it further than my notebooks…

5. High School Counselor…really? Yup, when I was in middle school and up until I realized you had to take hard classes to make this happen in college, I wanted to do this. Our counselors sucked ass. They never listened you, all they ever did was pick your schedule. I see kids every day that just want someone to listen to them. They don’t want help, judgment, or advice. I mean sometimes they do, but most time they just want someone who will give them five goddamn minutes of their time…

        Day Eleven: Top Five Languages You Wish You Were Fluent In

1. Spanish…since we’re in SoCal and I’d like to know what the fuck people are saying on the bus, let’s go with this one…

2. Jew Talk…mainly to become more like Kyle from South Park…

3. Ebonics…to be more in touch with what half of my genetics come from…

4. Italian…why? They make good food…

5. Klingon…because at the end of this list, I really didn’t care to learn any more. Language was one thing I never wanted to explore. Mainly because I find it hard and I hate challenges.

                       Day Nine: Top Five People You’d Like To Kill

…you walk in every day and i sigh at your existence. it’s not that i hate you, it’s that i’ll never understand your world and i never expect you to understand the way i am….

…never going to be that girl that he calls. you’ll always (for now) be the one he thinks about when the van rolls out of his driveway and he’s out of your life for months on end. i can buy a ticket, but damn if i could buy his heart, then i’d be happy…

…ending just one of their lives wouldn’t suffice. their counterfeit demeanor’s disgust every part of me that can feel. they make it hard for women to make it past the stereotypical roles society throws us in…

…side by side i stand with people on a daily basis on my stress maker. it’s not healthy to imagine public transportation ending in that much pain, but the anxiety it gives me, they deserve all the pain i can bring…

…a place i can call my own might not ever exist because of that bitch in the seven years bad luck that lays on the bathroom floor…